More Than Helping Students Who Cannot Afford Tuition, Scholarships are an Investment in Beauty
December 17, 2009
Michal Harris, music performance student and scholarship recipient
Note: USM music performance student Michal Harris spoke eloquently about the role of music scholarships at the School of Music’s Holiday Gala on Friday, December 4.
Good evening. My name is Michal Harris. I am a senior piano performance major studying at the University of Southern Maine. I was asked a few months ago to give this speech tonight on how having a music scholarship has benefited my life as a student. I am so thankful for my scholarship, but to be honest, I believe that these music scholarships are about more than just sponsoring a student who needs it. I think that they affect our culture in a much more profound way than we may realize.
I have been studying music at USM since I was thirteen years old. For a couple of summers, I attended the USM “piano camp”–about twenty geeky kids getting together for a week, immersed in piano music. That is when I first met Laura Kargul, who is my piano teacher now, as well as Christine Kissack, who is one of my professors and heads the piano pedagogy department at USM. We went to the opera, played in master classes and lessons, and then held a small recital. I can pinpoint that time in my life as the time when I knew I wanted to become a pianist. Something about music captivated me, but maybe I was more excited about the fact that I got the chance to perform, and wear diva dresses and diamond earrings.
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I had big dreams as a teenager. And as I looked forward to college, those dreams didn’t go away – dreams of making a living by studying and performing music. That is all I wanted, that is what I loved. I felt like I was made to be a pianist. I had grown up in Maine, so I wanted to go to away for school. But as I began to analyze exactly what it was that I was looking for in college–a good teacher and lots of opportunities to grow and perform–I realized that all the things that I wanted were staring me right in the face. I didn’t need to leave Maine to find what I was looking for.
I have now been studying piano at USM for several years. I can say with all my heart that these past few years have been some of the best of my life. They have certainly been some of the hardest years and most defining years – college should be that way. My dreams were tested to their limits. Studying music is extremely taxing. Pure, hard work is what makes or breaks you – regardless of your talent. Practicing can be lonely, and it is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. Performances don’t always go well, lessons and master classes expose so many hidden weaknesses. One of the biggest challenges that face all music students, me included, is the nagging question that asks, “WHY AM I DOING THIS??!!” Why do I need to listen to Schoenberg? Why am I taking Advanced Tonal Analysis? Why do I need to go out on that concert stage, in front of an audience of people I don’t even know, shaking like I just drank five energy drinks at once, and be expected to play a delicate Mozart sonata?
But maybe the one question that tops them all is the one that asks, “Am I doing something that matters? Is this music degree important at all?” I had to battle these questions. I knew I loved music, but I had to find answers that would give me the courage to keep moving in the face of so many difficulties.
There are musicians who stop playing and performing because they feel like they could enter a profession that would be more lucrative, and had a more tangible affect on people, like medicine or law. But I want to argue that teaching music, studying music, or performing music is equal to the practice of medicine or law or some other well-respected profession. Music is not some unnecessary luxury that we could live without if we needed to, and I strongly believe that what we do as musicians is very noble thing. We forget that too often. We have the task of caring for a precious treasure, something that cannot be seen; yet it touches our souls. Musicians are the guards of this treasure that is passed down carefully from generation to generation. It is our job to reverently and faithfully transmit these black notes on the page to the succeeding generation. Beethoven is dead, Schübert is dead, Mozart is dead – we are charged with caring for the wondrous works they left behind. We are charged with that – US – even in this small music school in Maine. We shouldn’t think for a second that because we aren’t Juilliard that we somehow have a lesser responsibility.
People have an insatiable thirst for what is beautiful. Music is so important to all of us because when we listen to good music we feel that there is something in it that is familiar to us. It reminds us of something we have felt before, a struggle we’ve wrestled with, something we have conquered. It can instill courage or fear or love or joy or absolute happiness in us – or an emotion that cannot be described with words. I was reading the other day and I came across a Robert Frost quote that struck me. He said that poetry “begins in delight and ends in wisdom…It begins in delight…and ends in a clarification of life”. Art clarifies life. He was talking about poetry, but you could just as easily apply that same idea to a Schumann symphony, or a Verdi opera. These things clarify life.
So all of this is to say that we need art, we need music. In a world filled with war, poverty, slave labor, where millions go hungry every day, art ought to be vitally important – perhaps now more than ever. We are not utilitarian, mechanical, soul-less, emotionless beings. We all reason and feel and express – and music does this perfectly for us.
I still love the diva dresses and the diamond earrings – I won’t deny that. I still love the thrill of performing. But my love for music is much deeper now than it used to be, now that I have had to pass through the refining fire that is called “college”. I’m so thankful for that scholarship that gave me the time and opportunity to pass through that fire, to do the work, to face the questions and find the answers.
I know that there are many music students here tonight who have some form of scholarship. They are talented, creative people who value their scholarships. They work very hard. They have to work hard. In order to be successful you need to take your work seriously – so they do. But they could not work nearly as diligently without financial help. It’s difficult to carve out a few hours of practice time when you are trying to deal with a 17-credit class load, but when you throw even a part-time job into that mix, practicing becomes nearly impossible. I’ve been blessed with scholarships that allowed me to do what I came to school to do. Providing scholarships is more than just helping out a music student who cannot afford to pay for school on their own. You are investing in the beauty of the world, and you are taking part in that great heritage of music. You’re investing in us, and we honor your investment.
Great artists for hundreds and hundreds of years have been generously supported. Imagine how different the world would be now if the Esterhazy’s had never supported Haydn, or Beethoven had never found patrons who believed he was doing something great. By supporting scholarships you enter that tradition. There is brilliant work being done at USM. You are sponsoring a line of fabulous musicians who will be gracing concert stages across the country and across the world, or entering schools to teach another generation to value the necessity of art. Your part is vital. So on the behalf of the student body, I’d like to thank you for being here tonight. Your generosity is so gratefully appreciated. Thank you for investing in the beauty of music.
Tags: michal harris, music gala, scholarships, school of music
