So let’s talk about sex…
One of the students in the Center a few weeks ago asked, “What is sex?” I am
sure many of you are thinking the easy or simple answer is penetrative
sex where a penis goes into a vagina. The definition of sex is
fortunately not that simple. That definition does not apply or
include many people including lesbians, gay men and some intersex and
transgender people. Sex may or may not include a vagina or vulva.
Sex may or may not include a penis. Sex can be about penetration. It
can involve sticking a penis or fingers or toys into a vagina or
rectum or mouth. Sex can end with an orgasm or multiple orgasms or no
orgasms or when one or more partners decide that they are done. Sex
does not even need to involve genitals or even nudity. Sex can be all
about a mental, emotional and spiritual connection. Sex can be an
expression and experience of intimacy and energetic exchange. What is
sex-for you?
Ask me about sex… Beverly, MSW student at USM
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I used to get so annoyed when my roommate would say “I had sex with that guy…” What he really meant was oral sex… yes, I know it has the word sex in it. But, I always feel that sex implies something a little beyond that. I guess when a dude says “I had sex with that guy” I’m assuming some penetrative anal sex. It’s a little too vague…
Sex is sex. But I think people confuse it with gender. Gender is female/male where as sex is more of a physical word, like homo-sex, hetero-sex, etc. It is describing what people you’re “attracted” to. Of course, it gets more complicated when people start deciding for themselves what gender they think they are. You can feel like a woman, but your body parts tell you different. I think sex has many meanings, especially physical. Intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, toy sex, animal sex, weird sex, hard sex, soft sex!!! SEX SEX SEX!!!! It means many things for many different people.
Recently, I was asked what two guys could do together or what two girls could do together. I explained that sex is sex. The only thing that varies is what goes where. Then, again, I’ve had sex with a male and a female type of person as a female type person. But, not with a male as a male or with a transsexual. At least not in this lifetime. Perhaps, the next time around. Happy day.