It happens numerous times throughout the day. An all too familiar feeling starts to creep up until it can no longer be ignored – that uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions. You start shifting your weight from foot to foot; you clench every muscle in your body. Eventually, you’re facing two nearly identical doors with a decision to make. For many people, it’s automatic, hardly requiring a second thought – you either reach for the door marked with a female body or the one depicting a male body. You enter and leave, feeling relieved, without any further thought.

Unfortunately, this is not the case for a large population of people. When the time comes, it is not always easy for a person to choose either the “men’s” bathroom or the “women’s” bathroom. There are a number of reasons why this may be, but regardless of the “why,” it is unjust to force someone into a situation that makes her or him feel distressed, or even unsafe.

For a transgender person – someone born in a male body but who identifies as a woman (MtF) or a person born in a female body but who identifies as a man (FtM) – society does not care about that individual’s true feelings. In this instance, society cares only about genitalia – essentially, if you’re born in a female body, you will use the “women’s” bathroom. Transgender people, in most cases, do not have the freedom of choice, the right to liberty – the very freedom and rights on which this country was built. As such, transgender people are, in effect, being treated as less than fully American.

It is not only transgender people being affected by the lack of gender-neutral facilities in establishments. Significant populations of people whom identify as gender-queer are also being made to feel like lesser than their cisgendered peers. [editor’s note:  “cisgendered” is defined as having one’s biological sex align with one’s gender identity.  i.e. female sex and feminine/woman gender identity or male sex and masculine/man gender identity.]  Gender-queer is a relatively new term that many people have never even heard before; although it is difficult to define, essentially “gender-queer” is a term that refers to a person that falls outside of the gender binary (i.e. someone who may identify as either being a man and a woman, or as being neither man nor woman.) For a gender-queer person, much like for a transgender person, gender specific bathrooms can be both oppressive and discouraging. Undoubtedly, when a significant group of people is made to feel awkward or out of place entering a gender specific bathroom and that issue is not being properly addressed, that is a problem.

Of course, most people do not even realize how repressive it is to have only gender specific bathrooms. Nevertheless, it should be something of which everyone is aware. I implore you, the next time that nature calls, take a moment to consider how troubling it would be to feel uncomfortable entering the “proper” bathroom.

Written by Devon Bovill

[Editor's note:  This was originally written on September 27th - my apologies to Jenny for not posting it when she sent it to me.]

I woke Monday morning to an e-mail declaring that Lady Gaga would be in Portland, ME, at Deering Oaks Park, at 4pm.  I read the e-mail again.  Yes, Lady Gaga would be speaking out against “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the policy that aims to keep gay military soldiers in the closet while on the job, here in Maine.  Being a fan of Lady Gaga I had to give myself a moment to revel in the fact that she was coming to my home state, but in the next moment I was preparing.  I called friends and co-workers to inform them, if they hadn’t already been, about the rally.  I am not only a fan of the singer, but of the causes she works for.  I went to work on facebook, posting and scolding others who said they “could care less that Lady Gaga was in town” – because I thought for sure they did not know the real reason for her appearance.

I spent four hours in the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity before the rally; while I was there I made a poster that was later photographed by someone on the inside: “Honesty is the Best Policy.”
I walked to the rally with a fellow supporter – only she did it topless, her poster hanging around her neck and over her breasts reading: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Discriminates.”

This was my first political rally and I was fired up.  I had my camera hanging around my neck, my sign plastered by the wind to my belly, and my eyes set forward.  We reached the park at around 3:20, almost an hour before Lady Gaga would speak.  Before she came to the stage 3 or 4 former soldiers spoke out about the discriminating policy that took their jobs.  One had served for years, led 200 fellow soldiers, and was almost flawless in his work.  Another soldier outed him, and when he was asked to confirm, he did not tell but was dishonorably discharged anyways.  He followed the law, his employers did not.  Who is wrong here?

When Lady Gaga took the stage she took the crowd as well.  This was a political rally but families of all shapes and sizes were there, business men, teens, college supporters, and even pre-teens holding their copy of Vanity with Lady Gaga on the cover –most seemed to be hoping she would do some kind of acapella performance .  It was clear that not everyone was here to rally, but by default they were counted among the 2,500 supporters of the rally.  At least by being here they were being exposed, maybe some of her words would stick with them, and as these preteens grow up maybe they will be the generation of change.

Lady Gaga launched into her speech “The Prime Rib of America” -one of the more outrageous metaphors I’ve ever heard, but the point hit home hard.  The “Prime Rib,” of course, is equality.  Where is equality in the military? Why are good, hardworking (gay) soldiers dismissed from their duty when there are homophobic soldiers that do lesser jobs by choosing to discriminate against their fellow soldiers?  How can homophobia be used as a defense? This would not be the case in any other workplace, yet it is in the military.  Lady Gaga goes on to cite that laws have been put in place in our country that declare homophobia is NOT a defense in hate crimes, homophobia will NOT stand up in court.  How can the military go on using this defense? Does “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” help or hurt? These are important questions to ask ourselves when we think of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” and when we think of the best way to move forward.  Lady Gaga has joined a movement, she has used her celebrity to get the word out, I stood beside Lady Gaga and called my senator, what are you doing?

Written by Jennifer Glanville

Last week (and this week) there was a lot of media attention brought to the plight of LGBTQ youth and students who have committed suicide as a result of the the heavy weight of anti-LGBTQ harassment and bullying they faced.

Columnist, Dan Savage, initiated a campaign of online videos called the “It Gets Better Project.”  The idea has taken off wildly, and we have seen videos posted by many people:  youth, adults, couples, families, celebrities, queers, allies, et cetera, et cetera.

One of the latest additions to this project comes from a USM Student named Marpheen Berry and I want to share it with you:

IT GETS BETTER by Marpheen Berry

Students from the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity and the Queer Straight Alliance want to make another video.  If you are interested in being involved, stop by the CSGD in the Woodbury Campus Center.

Take care of one another.

Sarah

This blog for the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity at USM took a brief hiatus over the summer and we’re getting geared up for a whole new slate of blog posts and new contributing writers.

Be sure to check us out again next week!

As a child did you ever want to play with children of another sex? As
a girl, did you not want to grow breasts or menstruate? Did you
dislike girly clothing? As a boy, did you not like some of the
stereotypical boys toys, games or activities? Did you not want to
play so rough during aggressive games? Any one of these experiences
is a marker currently used to identify a person with gender identity
disorder. How many of us can honestly deny all of these experiences?

Gender Identity Disorder is the label used to pathologize more than
just transgender people. Most people do not fit in these rigid and
stereotypical gender categories. The current edition of the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (the DSM-IV text revision) uses a
mental disease label, Gender Identity Disorder, to classify people who
do not fit into the two narrowly defined gender=sex* roles. Now you
might be thinking, I am not a transexual or I am a “normal” person
this does not apply to me, but it does. Unless you have never been
teased for being too girly or too manish, unless you have never had
difficulty understanding how to fit in with all the other boys or
girls, unless you have never felt awkward in your body and unsure how
to be yourself this applies to you.

The good news is that gender expression does not have to be considered
a disease! In fact, variety and diversity should be encouraged.
Unfortunately the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
(the DSM-V, due out in 2013) still lists Gender Identity Disorder as a
psychiatric disease. The great news is that you can effect the way
doctors, therapists, and everyone looks at the way we all experience
gender. The American Psychiatric Association is reworking the
definition of Gender Identity Disorder for the DSM-V. We have five
days, until next Tuesday, April 20th to give our input on the
definition of Gender Identity Disorder. This decision is crucial to
the future of mental health and the way we treat people with diverse
genders.

It is important that all of us demand a change in the upcoming edition
of the DSM. When the DSM no longer categorizes people with
varied gender experiences and expression then doctors, social workers,
psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors can no longer use the DSM
to justify gender identity discrimination.

Right now there are only two ways to be considered a healthy human: a
feminine female or a masculine male. Most people cannot be the ideal
man or woman we are taught to be. Women are taught that they can
never be too thin or too youthful looking. Men are taught that they
can never be too rich or too strong. How many of you have felt at one
time, or maybe many times, that you were not man enough or woman
enough? As one University of Southern Maine student so simply put it,
“both of the gender ideals are unachieveable.” But if both of the
gender ideals are impossible then are the rest of insane?

In the past, being gay or lesbian was considered a mental health
diagnosis by the DSM. Homosexuality was removed from the third
edition of the DSM only to have Gender Identity Disorder inserted into
the fourth edition. Why does the American Psychiatric Association
feel the need to pathologize diversity?

When the DSM-III was published most Americans did not understand what
we understand now, that there are a variety of healthy sexual
orientations, including both gay and straight. When we look back at
the DSM-V will we regret not speaking up for supporting diverse and
healthy gender expressions? I know I will not.

To tell the APA to stop pathologizing people who do not fit within the
narrow gender norms go to http://www.dsm5.org/Pages/default.aspx to
post your comments.

If you would like to write to the APA about removing Gender Identity
Disorder from the upcoming edition of the DSM but are unsure what to
say feel free to cut and paste this message:

I support gender diversity. I do not support discrimination. Please
remove Gender Identity Disorder from the DSM-V. Thank you.

*See the previous blog for an explanation of difference between sex and gender.

All posts on this blog can be confidential. Rather than using your real name you can use any name, any handle, you want in the name field.

A simple way to think about the difference between sex and gender is that gender is between your ears and sex is between your legs.  Gender is often understood through how you feel like and how you express that to the world.  Are you butch, femme or a tomboy?  Do you like pants, skirts, short hair and/or jewelry?  Although our society equates gender and sex, it is simply not true.  Gender is not binary.  A boy does not always grow up to be a man.  Men are not all masculine.  A heterosexual sexual orientation is not dependent upon being a masculine male or a feminine female.  Nor is a homosexual sexual orientation dependent on being a masculine female or a feminine male.

When talking about sex gender naturally comes up in conversation.  In western cultures gender and sex are often equated.  Sex is not the same as gender.  Biological sex includes a person’s genetics (xx, xy, xxy, or xyy), hormones (a blend of estrogen, androgen, and progesterone), and body parts internal and external (clitoris, penis, prostate, uterus).  Some people are biologically female, some are biologically male and some are biologically intersex.

Transgender is typically used to describe people whose gender and sex are not matched the way our culture says it has to be.  We have already discovered that sex and gender are not the same thing.  Equating sex and gender is just a false correlation.  Genderqueer is a term that includes many different kinds of gender.  Genderqueer people can be femme one day and butch another.  Genderqueer is often a mix of different gender performances or an ever changing play with gender.  Personally, I like the juxtaposition of gender.  I do not shave my legs or my armpits and I love pencils skirts, glitter and make-up.  I enjoy seeing men with beards in make-up and dresses.  These are great examples of being genderqueer.  Mix up gender markers, change gender performances and refuse to fit in the two standard categories of gender and congratulations you have found genderqueer.

Women are culturally allowed a wider range of gender performances than men.  For example women can wear pants and go without heels and make-up and jewelry without being seen as unfeminine, but men cannot wear skirts, high heels, make-up or jewelry without being seen as unmasculine.  One of the reasons that women are allowed more variety of gender performance than men is that gender is ranked.  Masculinity is perceived as better than femininity.  Thus the insults, “girly,” “you throw like a girl,”  “sissy,” or “pansy” which are used to insult males by calling them females or implying that they are feminine.  This demeans women by using attributes that describe women to insult men and it restricts men from their full gender expression.  Conversely, women who are perceived as overly masculine are judged as “ugly,” or are confused with lesbians under the mistaken impression that how somebody looks (gender performance) dictates who they are attracted to (sexual orientation).  A stereotype of lesbians is that they have short hair and they wear clothing from LL Beans, such as cargo pants, flannel, chamois shirts, fleece/down vests, and Birkenstocks.  If this gender performance created a persons sexual orientation than many, many, many more women in New England would be gay.

Hopefully this has made you think about gender in general and maybe even your own gender.  How do you perform gender?  Let me know what you think.

All posts on this blog can be confidential. Rather than using your real name you can use any name, any handle, you want in the name field.

So let’s talk about sex…

One of the students in the Center a few weeks ago asked, “What is sex?” I am
sure many of you are thinking the easy or simple answer is penetrative
sex where a penis goes into a vagina. The definition of sex is
fortunately not that simple. That definition does not apply or
include many people including lesbians, gay men and some intersex and
transgender people. Sex may or may not include a vagina or vulva.

Sex may or may not include a penis. Sex can be about penetration. It
can involve sticking a penis or fingers or toys into a vagina or
rectum or mouth. Sex can end with an orgasm or multiple orgasms or no
orgasms or when one or more partners decide that they are done. Sex
does not even need to involve genitals or even nudity. Sex can be all
about a mental, emotional and spiritual connection. Sex can be an
expression and experience of intimacy and energetic exchange. What is
sex-for you?

Ask me about sex… Beverly, MSW student at USM

All posts on this blog can be confidential. Rather than using your real name you can use any name, any handle, you want in the name field.

Welcome to the confidential space for sexuality questions. This interactive blog is sponsored by the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity. The purpose of these Q&A pages is to give accurate non-judgmental sexuality information.

You may ask, how am I qualified to give this information? I have over ten years of experience as a sexuality educator through a number of agencies including the internationally recognized San Francisco Sex Information and Outright!, the now defunct, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning support group for youth ages 22 and under. My motivation in doing this blog is to use my expertise to educate through the opportunity of my Masters of Social Work internship at the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity.

All posts on this blog can be confidential. Rather than using your real name you can use any name, any handle, you want in the name field.

Welcome to Blogs.usm.maine.edu. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!